June 13, 2009
BUMPER STICKERS FOR CHRIST
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AND OTHER NAZI HEROES
WILL NOT FIT ON HYBRIDS:
PERFECT FOR HUMMERS
From The Bumper-Sticker Minds Of Conservatives
The New Bible is scrawled on bashed-in automobile fenders and pasted in the cracked back windows of pick-up trucks. The morons who pilot these message-driven VEE-hicles don't have time for whole sentences. Grunts suffice. A whole book, even a Good Book is just too much for our Jesus-freaks these days. They have Jesus coloring books, Christ cartoons, divine video games, Xtian DVDs, even Christian rock, for those who prefer to whistle the liturgy.
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The real reason they've strayed so far from the New Testament is that they'd really rather be living in the Old Testament. That's where all the intra-familial begettin' & beheadin' is at. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, waterboard for no reason at all. Good old religious torture porn by the chapter and verse. But it's damned, I mean, derned hard goin' for the home-skewld. That's why we've produced these handy bumper stickers that express the true religious feelings of the average red-State redneck. You know, the *ssh*les who put the fundament in fundamentalist?
You're welcome, yawl. Lick 'em before ya stick 'em. That'll he'p yer marriages, too.
Double-click to enlarge, then right-click to download. Hi-rez versions available by request:
(Cross-posted on blog me no blogs by Cosa Nostradamus.)
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